What therapy is about, how it works, and how it doesn’t work

What people talk about here varies as much as their fingerprints.

  • breakups / separations / divorces
  • men’s issues
  • relationships / dating / marriage / affairs
  • spiritual matters
  • anger (either too much or too little)
  • feeling numb / feeling flooded
  • chronic pain / migraine / fibromyalgia / chronic fatigue
  • traumatic incidents and memories
  • chronic trauma, dissociation
  • obsessive thinking
  • sexuality (too much, too little, too strange, not strange enough)
  • coming out
  • gender
  • family-of-origin problems
  • college / post college related issues
  • anxiety / stress / perfectionism
  • guilt
  • depression
  • addictions (drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, gambling, pornography)

Therapy is about bringing awareness to the areas you would like to see change, including the ways in which you might be ambivalent about change, particularly stuck, or flat out not wanting to change, even though you might be unhappy.  Sometimes we bury something inside us, like so much toxic waste buried in the back yard.  You can even lay sod over it and have things appear to be ok.  However, over time you may notice that it is leaking out its toxins anyway, and the effort to keep it covered over becomes a burden.

Building up the right tools, we work at your pace in the areas where you are motivated to have more ease of well being in your life.  Your feedback is of utmost value here, and I always welcome your thoughts about the direction we are taking, what’s working and what’s not.

Therapy does not work with a model of the therapist telling you what you need to do, stop doing, or “what your problem is.” While I tend to share my thoughts and assessments in a frank and open manner, this is not about me telling you who you are or what you should do.  When I am talking casually with people about my career, they ask how I can listen to people’s problems all day.  I answer that this is not at all what I do, that therapy is about being with people at an important time in their lives and helping facilitate their healing process.